Well, it’s been a year. One year. A whole year. Nothing has changed. I feel exactly the same way I did One year ago. Life is so unreal. It Decided to turn my life upside down and shake it up spin it set it back down and seem to say “so here you go, deal with this stuff for the entirety of 2016” so I did. I thought I got the hang of it pretty well too. Then 2016 decided it need one more go at it. Changed my life around one more time. I was headed down a path that was set out for me and life with all her vanity decided to throw me into another spin that has left me headed down another direction. I’m seemed better equipped this time around less growing pains less I don’t wanna change feelings. took it with an adaptability that I never had before. However life wasn’t finished yet, much like killing off so many legends she did this year she came back with one more life changer… which has lead us here. Now.
This time, this time. I think I finally learned. This time I enjoyed my time i learned to enjoy what I got. Maybe for a little maybe not forever. So I’ll continue to enjoy it. Is this what life wanted me to learn. Not to take people, things, stuff for granted? I think so. Maybe that’s not all she wanted me to learn and grow from but it’s what I got out of this so far.
If I told you half the stuff that’s gone on. You’d just shake your head. I know I do. However I used to shake my head and think what the hell why me? Can’t things just be good. Can’t things just go smoothly… and frankly… no! No they can’t. Life is about struggle. If we just sat around and be okay with what’s going on around us will never grow into the beautiful people we all are… think of it this way, out of whatever pain or struggle you’re having right now in this moment it’s just temporary… soon as it passes it will have lead you to something good.
Last year I lost out pretty big at the end of the year. Lost someone I may have took for granted. This year I spent it alone. Hoping for another chance. Waiting to get it right. It’s never come.
I’ve ended up at the same place I was last year. By myself. However this time I have a lot more hope! Not questions of why me? Why this? Why that? Why can’t I win? Nope. Just let it all play out how it’s gonna play out. I tried so hard to win. I lost what I truly wanted. I tried so hard to succeed I forgot what life is even about.
For this up coming year, I think I got a better hold of it. People won’t stay just because you want them too. Just because you love them with every ounce of love you got to give. It doesn’t mean shit. If the other person doesn’t want it. Trying hard to achieve your goals don’t mean shit either if you don’t enjoy your ride, the ups and the downs. I’ve never been great at life. But I think I’m getting better at it. And that’s all I can really ask for.
So goodbye 2016! You where the worst year I ever had in my entire life. So thanks for coming and now going. stay gone. I’m good with out you, but thank you for everything. And to you. I do miss you and I’d give anything to have you back. To you reading this hope you look out from your screen and love the people who love you. If you’re in a tough spot remember it’s only temporary and needed to grow into the best person you’re gonna be. To everyone else thanks for whatever it is we have. I do appreciate it. And I truly love you all. Thanks for taking the time to stop by. Have a good one. Your friend the selfish👻ghost Niña Triste
Miss and love you alWAys