People will tell you from an early age, you can do whatever it is you wanna do. You work hard at it and it’s yours. It’s true. I’ve set out and achieved every goal I ever put in front of me. Knocking them down one by one.

However, I did it at a great cost. I sacrificed those around me. Girlfriends, fianc├ę, family, friends, health, sleep, etc. 

I’ve had a lot of time on my hands. My normal routine tends to have me by myself thinking, self dialog. Up at 7:30 coffee run, gym, church, home, clean, shower, the shop. At the shop people come and go. Head home, dinner, home. Bed…. I don’t sleep well. So bed time is tricky… it’s more time alone thinking self dialog staring into the darkness of my room. Repeat. With in the last ten months of this routine of dissecting and reexamination of everything in my life I came up with a conclusion. 

I’m fucking CRAZY! I get so consumed in doing this that and whatever it takes to get what I set out to get. I fucking loose everything in the process. And you know what?!?!? It’s all my fault.

So here now and forever I’m letting go. Like I’ve said countless of times I don’t know where this life is head and I don’t give a fuck. I got a general idea of what I want. I won’t do anything to ruin that. But if life wants to throw a new road a new career a new love interest a new state a new country I’m headed straight for it.  

Thanks for looking

Even if I see you everyday, or if I don’t. Know this. I miss you, I love you. I’M alWays thinking about you. 

SG Nina triste the selfish ghost. 

xxx 

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