Where do I even begin? Life, it has this really fancy way of showing you just how little you’re. I’m not gonna waste a lot of your time by talking about how things are hard and life isn’t easy. You know that already, I know that already…. The hard part is learning from the past and moving forward. It’s what’s the most difficult part for me. Living one day at a time. I spend so much time looking in the past so I don’t repeat mistakes that I forget to enjoy the present day trying to fix the future.
I’ve been so concerned and preoccupied wanting to succeed a goal I set out for myself. I neglected the ones around me. See sometimes they don’t tell you the secrets to this life game. At 35 I still take time for granted and think everything will work out in the long run. All while forgetting to actually take care of things right in front of me.
I spent 3 days dancing my ass off to loud music surrounded by hundreds of people and at times I’ve never felt more alone. The dj’s called out several different times several different days to wrap your hands around the one you love. Hug the one you truly love. I was left standing there with only one option dance harder to hide the fact that in a crowd I’m still alone. I had an absolute blast. time of my life! dancing my self into the ground… But if I took care of what is in front of me. I could of wrapped my arms around the one I love. Until then, I can’t look back at all the failed opportunities. I can only do whatever one else does. Distract my self from the pain that lingers deep inside. I’ve traveled this planet amongst friends. I’ve traveled with lovers and or family. All feeling like a ghost. I’m forever haunted by the one I can’t have.
Everyone knows you want what you can’t have. I guess I’ll forever be wanting you. While dancing myself into the ground to hide from how it feels to not be with you.
Still dancing, still miss you. Always.